Chapter 4

By your probably wondering, how one day a chicken farmer with one shoe could be chasing escaped chickens one week and the next week closing a million dollar deal? While, smelling of fish, well take a ticket, your not the only one

Really, if only they could see him now, what would they think of the guy that lived in a house full of chickens? Well that's what the rumor was anyways?

Well all this real estate business started the previous day when Caruso J. Sundance checked his mail. Of the usual collection for magazine (that could not be referenced here) subscriptions, he just wasn't into that kinda stuff, not anymore anyway, he often mused it must just have been a phase he was 'going through'? But he didn't get rid of the magazines, he still looks at them sometimes, hey he paid good money for them and after all, they were his!

In the middle of all this correspondence, he spied a registered letter, in which contained the following


Dear Mr Sundance

 You do not know me, but i am familiar with you and your work.

I would like to inquire if you would like to conduct some transactions on my behalf, since i am not in the country myself, i would greatly appreciate if you could be of assistance to me?

The terms would be very favorable for you, please find enclosed a retainer of $10,000

Tomorrow, i would like you to call on a Mrs Edith Robinson, at 25 Oak Street and offer her 1 million dollars for her house on the condition that she accept or decline the offer in 10 minutes. Vacating the premises the next day at 3pm, leaving all contents, ornaments, clothes, pets, rust, bills and everything the way it is.

If you consent to representing me, please contact my legal representation, a one Mr Henry 'Legal' Eagle , from Legal Eagles Lawyer's.

There will be another $10,000 commission if you successfully buy this premise on my behalf


Regards

      A friend

Chapter 3

The interior of the house of the elderly Edith Robinson, was very much like Caruso expected, much like what anyone would expect, what your grandmother would have had, what did your grandmother have? Why she would of had what the proceeding generation can see and feel, but have not yet experienced and do not value or cherish it for the memories it may represent, but as soon as the next generation come along, that cherished bowl that was always too special to use, suddenly becomes the place to deposit cat food, dog food too!

The corridor from the front door led into the sitting room which was adorned with a statue of a woman towering with a birds eye view, suddenly Caruso felt like he was being watched and studied on various levels, but he couldn't rightly figure out why? He didn't mind the attention, especially the female, real or marble, beggars cant be choosers you know, but not now, there was business to attend to, he made a mental note that if he closed the sale, no when he closed the sale that saucy statue he named 'Maria' would be his prize, he was gaining confidence by the minute.

Edith's past was woven in the memories in the items to be displayed in the surroundings, the photos, ornaments, furniture right down to the garden gnome she received for her 50th birthday, all this and more comprised the dwelling on 25 Oak st, it was her domain, Mr Magoo and Mr Smith's, they were the only family she had left, and now Mr Magoo is entering the scene, by way of the cat flap on the back door, curiosity killed the cat, but Mr Magoo was a firm believer in re incarnation, if any logic could be determined from the the tail wagging, after all the air did have a fish aroma and what better way was there to entice the curiosity of a four legged feline?

Life wasn't always like this either for Caruso as the unlikely pair settled down with a glass of water to discuss this unexpected proposal.

To be fair after all, he was until last week a chicken farmer. How did things come to be like this? He asked himself everyday while shaving, then he would launch into, 'You have to dress to impress', he kept telling himself, at least that's what the Real estate book said, not that he would read the words too much a picture was worth a thousand words, so looking at the pictures was like speed reading to him, and after all, he felt it made him more efficient with his time and that was in the book too, somewhere?

And who was he to argue here? Maybe if he knew enough to write a book, the world might benefit from that too?

'Now, my client', he began, 'is a very generous man, and he's busy' too he added, just for good measure, not that Caruso had met him either, but money talks as they say and when he saw the envelope stuffed full of cash in exchange for his services, how could he say no?

'You have no idea what the chicken business can be like' he would declare while eye balling himself in the mirror as was his rhetoric and Caruso give a lengthy speech which included, 'it is hell', for everybody involved and now he was all ears as a new world was presented to him. He was determined to make this new career in Real estate work, but he wasn't going to leave anything down to beginners luck, not if he could help it.

It was only a matter of time before something went wrong, but start like you mean to continue, and armed with an ever growing and expanding vocabulary, he felt like he was beginning to 'talk the talk', what ever that might be? He just didn't want to sound plain stupid, after a lifetime of practice, it could be quite difficult to shake overnight?

Caruso liked the was he said 'client', he felt it made him respectable, he felt respected as Edith looked at him in awe, this was the most unusual encounter to befall the woman in years and why her, why now?

'This..', he began 'abode', liking his choice of words he was beginning to familiarize himself with, 'is of personal importance to my client and he would like to purchase it, everything as is, of course compensating you amicably to enabling you to pursue another interests you might have in your life, the deal is non negotiable, everything stays, i need a decision in 10 minutes, i can come back tomorrow with the money at 3pm, you take a cab, i believe local hotel does a very fine BBQ on Sundays?' As the new realestate agent on the block began to wonder as he bemused himself why anyone would pay so much for a place, full of old junk when you could buy 2 similar houses on the street for the same price.

'Surely 2 houses was better than 1'? he thought to himself

How much time do i have to think about it again? You have 10 minutes to give me your decision, wanting to be seen to be festedious, Caruso glanced at his Donald Duck wrist watch he won in an under 12 essay competition the previous year, his winning entry was entitled 'Making a difference in the world', he wrote about the only thing he knew anything about, chickens, he felt like he was educating the world, spelling mistakes and all, the watch was a nice bonus too, it was nice to think you could make a difference in the world and at any age too

The Duck said the time was 8pm, but Caruso knew that meant 7pm, he learnt this the hard way as he missed happy hour down his local, there was no point in arguing that point either with the bar tender either with nothing but a Disney character to support his claim for compensation, people were liable to laugh and he already had enough of that in his life, thank you very much!

A turn in the city he mused as he re read the letter of offer for the 10th time and looked out the window,  chickens were running left and right, this might be just the thing i need, as the bucket list of possibilities of what life has to offer appeared in the horizon that he was yet to do, in what had been until now, a pretty uneventful life to date.

'I will be able to do stuff', people will respect me, i'll show em' he said to himself after he reread his offer, again and again, not quite sure if it was a hoax, if it was a hoax, the cash in the envelope sealed the deal, $10,000 in fact, he counted it 5 times, not quite sure what it was all about, but it was real alright it felt real, just like one of those gangster rap videos where money is falling, each time as he completed counting them, he threw the bundle up in the air one more time, would he ever tire of testing the what goes up must go down theory, like snow flakes of the same value in decent like the stock of a 21st century .com company

Probably not, and his counting was improving, so this was sort of educational too

7.02pm,
By Carusos time adjusted calculation, the clock was ticking, the letter was specific, it said, the offer was valid for 10 minutes from the time he entered the house, but no longer.

The unlikely pair sat down, tete e tete, 'Isn't there anywhere you've always wanted to visit or live, like Mexico?' he began tentatively. Mexico was the first place that came into his mind, he remembered watching a program on TV about the carefree life in Mexico, where you could drink all the $1 beers you wanted on the beach and for food, all you had to say was 'Taco por favor', you could get them anywhere day or night and the girls, no point bringing that up now or Thailand, you could live near the beach, eat green curry every day and the girls...

It all seemed too good to be true, in Caruso's mind anyways and he was beginning to feel a little bit envious of this old lady, would she like to buy a chicken farm thought as he looked at her quizzically as he sought an answer

Observing a cat move closer, still not sure how to broach the question, i mean it's not like something like this happens every day? She began...

'Well, i have always wanted to go visit my sister in Germany', you could be on your way tomorrow responded the real estate newbie, which was no lie, there were planes going every day too, he sometimes liked to point at them as they flew over the farm, pretending his finger was a loaded uzi rocket launcher, which it wasn't really, England, Germany, Thailand, they had planes going everywhere all you had to do was want to go, 'Bang, bang, bang', he would say to himself as he took every one of them out of the sky, in his minds eye anyways

7.04pm
I have thought of doing a few things, now that i am retired, what about the little ones? I couldn't bear to be away from them, isn't that right 'Mr Magoo' and 'Mr Smith', i can assure you Miss Robinson, they would be taken care of in every way, they would receive the highest standard of care, he said looking up hopefully at the female statue as he wondered the kind of secrets that were hidden behind her alluring smile, if truth be told he felt like he was the one that was watching him? Maria, he had already christened her, mouthing the words silently, feeling quite pleased with himself

'Take a few minutes to think it over, you wont get a better offer, not today or any time soon and just think of the burden that will be lifted from you, you will be free as a bird'

'You will be gaining a new freedom you could only dream of', as he pivoted to see if there were any other statues that might catch his eye, he didn't want Maria becoming jealous, not yet, it was too early for that sort of thing, but he saw for him self how it could transpire on the TV most nights and he wasn't taking any chances, not yet anyways!

7.08pm
'Mr Sundance', began Edith, 'You are saying that you are willing to offer me twice what this place is worth if i agree to leave tomorrow and truth be told, keeping up the payments were becoming a worry for Edith, now that she was retired, and now she could buy another house on the same street or take a trip to see her sister or do both? No one lives for ever you know?

7.09pm
'I accept Mr Sundance', 'Why thats fine Mrs Robinson, real fine', you've made a great decision, i can our legal people contact you to finalize the payment' said the 'closing the deal king' of Oak st, you had to agree, the terms were favorable. Not that Caruso knew what this entailed, he had the number of a lawyer he was to call and he would take care of the paying the woman, it was all in the letter

Secretly, Caruso was jumping for joy, 'She's mine' he repeated himself as he waved goodbye before driving off into the night, 'not a bad days work', he said to himself, as he sang, 'Maria, Maria, i've just met a girl called...' as his voice was drowned out by the night as the red vehicle moved on down the road

Chapter 2

So there you have it, the first chapter of a novel i always said i'd do it and now i've done it, i can tick that one on the list, i could die a happy man, and until i die, i must write!

Woodie Guthrie once said

“The words are the important thing. Don’t worry about tunes. Take a tune, sing high when they sing low, sing fast when they sing slow, and you’ve got a new tune.”

Doesn't sound like plagiarism, now does it?
Everything is an idea, ideas are based on previous ideas, the words we say are ideas, they have histories, some words came from other languages, the study of the history of words is called 'Etymolog', the letters we use to make up those words have in-depth histories too, the English alphabet is based on previous other alphabets, the letters even have different frequencies.

Everything is depended on the previous idea, like stepping stones, each one is important to traverse the stream.
In China they say, 'You pave the rode your children walk', when doctors from third world countries migrate with their families to western countries, they are happy to drive cabs, so that their children have better opportunities than they had, same idea.

A, came before B, and A + B = C, don't ask me how i know that, i learn it at school and i'm afraid if i start thinking about it i might suffer flashbacks and that might be the ending of this story.

1, comes before 2, 0 comes before both of them and it was invented after 1 and 2, and 0 is the most important number, it enables up to calculate infinitely large and small numbers, it was independently invented 3 times, firstly by the  Babylonians in the 3rd century BC, Mayans in the 4th century, Indians in the 5th century, Cambodia in the 7th century, China, Islamic countries and tally ho and lastly, here we come riding into Europe in the 12th century, ok 0 is an exception to the rule, we are learning something here, the rule and the exception to the rule.

It is said once a problem is solved in the world, it's also solved somewhere else independently, but it needs to be solved by someone, anyone, our thoughts have lives of their own, like cats at night and all cats at night are grey, maybe the Mr Magoo in the first chapter is grey, maybe? Time might tell

Everything man made from sky scrapers, cat flaps, China dolls and blow up dolls (the dolls were invented by Adolf Hitler, he didn't want his troops seeking sexual healing from saucy local ladies hanging out their bed sheets on the front lines, that factory that was to produce them got bombed before any were made, but he had the idea, maybe that idea went out and it made some bomber pilots fingers twitch, would it have been Karma? Or tough luck for the Aryan race?

Isn't it's the thought that counts? Maybe blow up dolls are a bad thing and they are just another thing on the list of bad things he did?

Everything is layered, the bottom layers need the top layers, if they didn't have them they wouldn't be on top.

Onions have layers too, when you strip all the layers off, all your left with is the universe.

Everything is a remix, but first you have to copy, transform and combine, The Grey album being a famous example where the Beetles 'White album' was mixed with Jay-Z's Black album and what happens when you mix white and black, in real life, yes that's it, true to life, grey kids!

There is so much borrowing going on, did you ever knock on your neighbors door looking for a cup of sugar, milk or just some good old fashioned free love? No, the 60's are over, too soon if you ask me!

A picture is worth a thousand words, once something is printed it fades, but i hope this collection of thoughts and words to print, any font will do!

So saying this, what I'm writing is going to be a hybrid of the previous stuff i have read and written in my life, from this 'word' to shopping lists, past and future to sick notes in school, put in such a way as to seem new, and hopefully that means I'll get paid and i can keep all the money for myself, live on a hill and look down on people, in fact i grew up on a hill or maybe I'll just go home?

Maybe i will see and think of home and not the home i make for myself in between these moments in a new way and that might make all the difference?

You might be thinking, where is this going? I'm asking myself that too, i want to know just a badly as you do?

Shall we got on with the story and see where this story takes us? That's part of the idea anyways.

On with the show....