Chapter 6

You know, most people tell me i'm crazy to out with a chicken farmer, but they don't know him like i know him, but not like it's without any trying moments, no ones perfect right?,

I mean i could go out with any guy i like, you know? What i like about Caruso is, he's so knowledgeable about stuff, he knows stuff even experts don't know, like the time he ran out to tell the paper boy that 'There is no proof full page or double-truck ads are more effective than half page ads' as he cycled past on his paper route or the time he asked the milk man 'If he knew who was the first man to milk a cow and what did he think he was doing? His mind is just so inquisitive like that, so i guess he just cant help being brainy and stuff?

But it's not like everybody around here thinks like me, but like i told yea, it's not everybody knows him like i know him, you just have to get to know him, i guess, in time it comes in any relationship? My sister Boo boo or Boo for short said, 'I can see how anyone could love him...in about 20 years', but for me it kinda happened a lot faster than that? No point beating around the bush i guess? And anyways, i saw him first!

I remember the first time i met Caruso, i was parking my car in the town, about a year ago now, i remember because it was a 1 hour parking zone and i needed $1 for parking, well as i was putting the change in to the meter, a red car pulled up and out popped an Italian looking gentleman and i remember the first thing he said, it was, 'Excuse me, but did you know that the first parking meters were installed in 1935 in Oklahoma City', now that's in America! Just how would he know? I just thought there and then, now there's a man that knows a thing or two about the world and he know what was going on in America too, that a sign of education, yea know?

I thought he was sort of European at first, or sort of exotic somehow and then he told me his name, i remember as i stared into his eyes as i though us sailing off to Greece on his yacht somewhere, but then i found out he owned a chicken farm 5kms away, he's got some ducks too, and a watch with Donald Duck on it, he said something about it being 'tax deductible?' Which is kinda funny, which just proves how smart he is, but he doesn't have to show off all time!

But, just imagine my surprise as i though, 'God, i don't have to go too far for this one, i could get the bus to see him?' Not that i wouldn't want to jet off to Greece, i would yea know in 2 minutes? But, it's just never come up, maybe one day? And anyways i wouldn't want to go anywhere 'A-Tonic' cant go, thats my cat, i have him a year ago. Caruso gave him to me on our first date, my sister Boo said that it was irresponsible to give a live animal, but what would she know?
Caruso said to Boo, 'What am i supposed to do, kill the cat and then give it to her?' and i guess that was that, now he's mine too!

To tell you the truth, why would you listen to someone that walks around wearing odd socks all the time, anyways she's just jealous of my cat, 'A-Tonic', he's great, and he's a good listener too, we have some really great times together.

What more can i tell you? I'm a vegetarian, when it comes to meat, that's A-Tonics department, Caruso too, although you'd never believe it, but Caruso would eat anything, pizza, day and night, drunk or sober.
But sometimes he can act up a bit, especially when some one interrupts one of his jokes to compliment my sausages? I've mean how can you lie to someone through a vegan sausage 10 minutes after they ate it? But i guess he just likes..., well i guess ignorance is bliss, isn't it?

Love

  Daisy Bee-Bop

Chapter 5

By now, your probably wondering who this Caruso J Sundance guy is and just what the hell is going on here?

Well, what's not to say about our boy, legend has it his is daddy was a traveling sales man, he had an accent or something? He was banned from most farms, all the ladies just loved his daddy, some more than others of course and Caruso was the end result in one of those visits, i guess you could say it would have been his first ever involvement in 'Closing the deal', maybe he was more experienced and he just never knew it? The mind boggles with that fellow and just what goes on in his mind is anybody's guess?

Some say that a kid that grows up with a single mom is pretty much married to her, i don't know if i agree, but his mother had her moments, she died a few years ago, but he still likes talks to her sometimes, he's talked to lots of people over the years, most of them you cant actually see, but he's talked to them all the same, 'that all that counts', he would often remind himself

And in the case of 35 year old Caruso, he wasn't so much a thinker as much as he spent his life just putting one foot in front of the other, of course he was going around and round like the carousel in his mind or like a sex mad canine chasing its tail, but at least it was good exercise? And it did give him something to do!

His mother gave him his name as it sounded exotic, which is kind of true as Carusos friend Bennie Harris, middle name 'sexual' commented on Carusos eating habits, Caruso, 'You will die if you eat anymore Pizza', in truth, that was just another cycle he was going through, and he ate pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which was a bit of strange dietary advice coming from Bennie, he did consider beer and chocolate as dinner? Different strokes for different folks i suppose?

He grew up like any other kid i guess, he liked sports, insects, hated vegetables, crusts on bread and school. If he didn't love it or hate, it was because he hadn't experienced it, not at that age anyways?

Not making the academic grade, Caruso opted wisely and practically to learn the family trade at 'Sundance eggs', not that he had a lot of options, not with his talents anyways, so he decided to put his talents to use and maybe discover himself through the chicken business and the lure of immediate cash kinda sealed the deal, on him and his life so far, until now.

Maybe i'm painting our friend in a bad light, it hasn't been too doom and gloom, what Caruso does like is Trivia, not useful trivia or anything you would want to know, all he knows is useless stuff and Trivial at that, it's pretty much is strong point actually?

If it doesn't need to be know, he knows it, but if he needed to know it, he wouldn't know it at all, it's like he's somehow a genius that will discovered when the irrelevant world becomes somehow relevant?

His mother often shook her head at amazement at him, somehow he never seemed to know which way was up, but he would be able to tell you how many kilometers it was to the moon, 384,399 km? It was enough to make you laugh, which everyone did of course.

Soon after a while of this, Caruso just gave up telling people things like 'A rat can last longer without water than a camel' or 'Every person has a unique tongue print' he pointed out one day to the milkman, 'A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.' he told the teacher or 'Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.' his mother was informed one night as she went out on a date

'Some people just aren't interesting', he mused, 'that or they're all stupid?' What was strange for him was how he had to go to school to learn stuff, but he couldn't remember that stuff, but he could remember the stuff he read by himself out side school, life was strange like that for a while and they had a name for it, it was called 'Trivia'.

All he knew was Trivial, nothing compete, just one big heap of irrelevant stuff you could never link together in a logical way in a fashion so someone would think on the off chance that you are smart? Like jigsaw pieces that never fit no matter which way you try and put them together, i guess you could say, not too many people got him?

Since he got into the family business, none of the stuff at school about Maths, Geography, Science, seriously, since he showed no interest, he could never understand why he had to go? It wasn't any particular thing he disliked, it was pretty much all of it, from having to get out of bed, to coming home from school. That was major people, there was nothing trivial about it at the time

Not that the chickens minded about a caretaker that savored academia and if truth be told, he couldn't think of a science experiment that wouldn't end in an explosions, and not that he'd want to anyways, but he couldn't think of one, he did try!

   

All these experiences have led up to 35 year old Caruso J Sundance, being the kinda, all round knowledge freak, a know nothing guy that is right before you, is that what you wanted to know?

What else do you need to know? He likes Westerns, any meat, cooked even better. He doesn't really know what he's like, not until he finds himself reacting to situations, like the time he nearly blew up at a BBQ after eating a vegetarian sausage?
How would anybody be able to foresee one minute a grown man tell everyone coming in the door that he was 'So gangsta? and after dinner holding his throat, crying and screaming when he found out 'the truth' about a sausage?

Thats not normal you know, not around here anyways!

Or am i suppose to laugh or something? And i have know him since kindergarden, on his first day of school he rocked up in a chicken outfit and i had to sit next to him, i said, 'Do you think your a chicken or something', he said, 'I'm Caruso, what's your name?, i said, 'I'm Benny', so i guess you could say the rest is history?

So continuing with out story, so if its a lesson in ethology your after and study the behavior of this strange animal, you wont find more stranger! I don't know about exotic?
Or maybe you want to know how you too, a Chicken farmer could achieve similar success

Well, just keep on reading!


   Bennie

p.s.
Oh yeah, and he's got a girlfriend, i would have said earlier but i just thought it wasn't all that important?